Moving on

The past 3 months have been the hardest I have ever gone through. I wish I could explain to someone how important my grandparents were to me, how big a hole I feel when i think of them. When my grandmother died, I through myself into taking care of my grandfather, so it wasn't so bad. Now I don't have either of them. Five years ago I moved in with them to try and keep an eye on them. Now they are both gone, and I miss them more than I can ever say. It feels like everything is changing.

My grandmother's house is being sold, I have no doubt it will be torn down and destroyed. A little background, this house was purchased by my greatgrandmother about 100 years ago. It's horribly sad for me to see it go. Twenty-eight years of of my life were spent either looking forward to go to grandma's or I was living there.

I've accepted that it has to go, but I don't know where I am going. I am so confused. I always thought of myself as a decisive person, I make decision and get things done. I can't seem to get this done.